Equipment, from left to right: 1.6kg of sugar, sterilising powder, an airlock, cuddly toy, Prohibition homebrew kit, demijohn.
Sterilise the equipment, dissolve the sugar into 1 litre of hot water, add 2 litres more cold then pour into the demijohn. Don't forget to spill some of the sugar syrup onto the sideboard with so everything you touch is all sticky from this point on.
The yeast. It comes freeze-dried in a sachet so add it to warm water to wake it up. It looks like a cup of milky coffee, but there's no possible confusion if you catch a whiff of it.
10 minutes later it's turned into a stinky latte.Add the yeast to the sugar liquid and add a sachet of sucrose and citric acid, then wait 2-3 weeks. It needs to be kept a constant temperature now to get the best out of the yeast - when I made a batch at university it was freezing cold in my room so I had to lend it my blanket at night. The things I do for booze...
Mix 8oz butter and 4oz sugar, then add 12oz plain flour. Allow to stand for 30 minutes.
Roll out to desired shape, about 15-20mm thick. Score the cutting lines, and make holes all over with a fork to stop bubbles forming. Cook for 35-40 minutes at 180°C. It'll still be slightly soft when it comes out so cut it right through before it cools otherwise it'll be brittle and just crumble everywhere. Lightly sprinkle with granulated sugar once cool.
This was supposed to be a picture of the finished product but I don't know what went wrong. Maybe my kitchen caught fire and I didn't notice.
Sugar and Cookeen. Er, yum? Actually, the Cookeen melts while it cooks and helps make the little bubbles in the cake that make it a bit lighter than it would be otherwise.
Add eggs, vanilla and some buttermilk, then mix in some plain flour, cocoa and baking soda.
Slap it in the oven for 45 minutes.
Cut each cake in half then douse them in kirschwasser - a clear, dry (almost to the point of being bitter) cherry liqueur.
Build up the layers with buttercream and cherries. I hope it turns out ok - I only had glace cherries.
Coat in cream that's been whipped until stiff, add chocolate shavings and some little cream whirls to finish it off. The final cherry on the cake is, er, cherries.
Melted sugar cooling on a greased, heatproof surface. Add crushed hazelnuts while still heating the sugar if you like. Crush the end result into tiny pieces once cooled.
Four batches of praline. 2 with, 2 without nuts.
Gently melt chocolate over hot (but not boiling) water. Most recipes will tell you to avoid getting water in the chocolate, even to the extent of drying anything used to stir it, because it will seize. We *want* it to seize though. Use hot water, or water with coffee granules dissolved in it.
Yuck. It seized. Add butter and milk next, but be warned, it's gonna get worse before it gets better...
Told you so... This is the white chocolate version and it looks a bit, er, wrong.
Keep stirring it - it'll all combine eventually and make a nice smooth sauce.
Add the praline we made earlier, then cool for 1/4 day.
Four batches of truffle mixture, ready to roll.
Roll the end result into little balls, then coat in chocolate vermicelli, or just dust with icing sugar for a more rustic look. Keep them cool or they'll go a bit squashy. This is showing just half the yield.
